It's cold! I don't mean chilly or brisk. I mean chapped lips, runny nose, skin freezes to stuff you touch, can't get out of bed, oil bill is way too high, car won't start, clothes make you look like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man, roof is about to collapse from snow, driving across town is downright dangerous, and blankets are now part of your wardrobe cold!
It can make someone go crazy...maybe decide to jump on a plane to warmer climates. Not me though...I've taken refuge in a magical place called the Bangor Mall. Here, the temperature is always a perfect 72 degrees and new, high-efficiency lighting can be mistaken for actual sunlight. And to ward off the evil winter gods, I've surrounded myself with brand new boats.
Believe it or not, a lot of people seem to like my little island here. There is plenty to look at, and the prospect of warmer weather seems to be popular with folks. It may not seem logical to order your boat when the windchill is -35, but right now you can pave your boating future this summer and feel good about saving a lot of money with incentives from the boat and motor companies!
Even if you aren't ready to buy a boat, you should definitely come down and see our artificial paradise we've constructed in the food court. Come on down, sit in the helm seat of a new boat, close your eyes, and take a bite of that Dairy Queen Blizzard. Oh yeah...just like summer!!!!