Tuesday, June 25, 2013


It's hot.  Steamy, sweaty, stinkin' hot.  Summer is here!  

Where do you want to be?  

Do you want to be in a stuffy office?  Would you like to be doing yard work?  How would you like to be sitting in traffic with no air conditioning?

How about going out on a boat? Yeah...that's the ticket! 

Here's a few reasons to drop what you are doing and get out on a boat...

1.)  Phone reception is terrible on a boat, so nobody can bother you on the water.  Even if you have reception...turn up the stereo and you'll have the same effect.

2.)  You can wakeboard into your 80's.  Even if you've earned yourself a big belly and you can barely strap on your bindings, it is so rewarding to surf the wake behind the boat.  Oh, the other fun part is simulated drowning.  They say that Waterboarding is inhumane...try Wakeboarding when you are out of shape.  It's the same thing!

3.)  People don't wear much in the way of clothing.  There is a lot of skin out there on the water.  Maybe you are ripped or curvy in a good way.  Maybe you are a little lumpy.  It just doesn't matter on a boat!

4.)  Beer tastes really, really  good on a boat.

5.)  You don't have to go anywhere.  Just turn the wheel to the left and give her the popcorn!  Spin around and around as fast as you can a dozen times!!!!  Now stop.  Now do it again!  I swear to God that I saw someone do this on Brewer Lake last Sunday.  If it was you, please call me and tell me what you were doing!  

6.)  You can get one nasty sunburn on a boat.  Then you can go in to work the next day and people will ask you why you didn't put on sunblock.  They are really just jealous because you were on a boat, and they were at home sticking to their pleather couch.

7.)  Download a bunch of Jimmy Buffett, Bob Marley, Jack Johnson, and Zac Brown Band.  Make sure you play it loud and you tap your fingers on the steering wheel.  This feels really good.

That's enough for now...I am going to go out on a boat.

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